Ode to P-Willy (This one's for you, Johnny)

Let's not kid ourselves, no one has cared about the San Francisco 49ers since the late 80's. Sure they won the Super Bowl in 1995, but all they had to do was defeat the Chargers for that one, and as my last post proves so thoroughly, that's not much opposition. Back in the good old days, when Jerry Rice wasn't hopelessly attempting to prolong his career with the Jokeland Raiders, and Steve Young was actually playing football, not just mercilessly criticizing those who play it now. As any 49ers fan will so politely tell you, those days are long gone.

But I have recently seen a glimmer of hope in that vapid wasteland of an NFL franchise.

My buddy Johnny, he came to me one cold evening and told me about one Patrick Willis (remember the name, Superbowl XLVI MVP... just you wait). He shows me a clip of this guy, a linebacker, running down a wide receiver on the sidelines. Let me translate for all you non-football folk: This large, buff guy chases and catches (from behind!) a smaller guy whose job it is to be fast. At first, I thought it was a clip from a Madden Football game. I couldn't believe. That combination of speed and power is, dare i say it, almost Herculean.

But P-Willy isn't the only talent they have out there by the bay, oh no. I have seen, first-hand, the potential of RB Frank Gore (The use of "first-hand" in that last sentence should have made all you Niners fans squirm). There is also a beast of a man at the tight end position named Vernon Davis. I always take this guy in my Madden fantasy season draft. He is, in my opinion, a hybrid of a wide receiver, an offensive lineman, and the grizzly bear that out-ate Kobayashi.

I am going to use some restraint and only take one legitimate cheap shot at the 49ers: Alex Smith...

But hey! Things are looking up. You got some help from Sith lord Al Davis in the draft this year and somehow were able to snag Michael Crabtree at #10 (And you ALL know he was top 5 talent). And the NFC West is looking mighty crappy for this upcoming season. I mean seriously, let's take a look at your competition:

The Seattle Seahawks have inexplicably fallen off the map following their loss in the Super Bowl to the Steelers a few years ago. They lost Alexander and Hasselbeck has been unable to fend off injury.

The Arizona Cardinals were, for all intents and purposes, a one-hit wonder (like the 2007 Colorado Rockies, or the Baja Men... I never did figure out who let those dogs out......).

And the St. Louis Rams... well honestly, they couldn't defend the goal line against a troupe of blind girl scouts.

All I'm saying is the competition looks weak. And with Mike Singletary (former NFL star, and registered badass) at the helm, I would not be the least surprised to see the 49ers taking the NFC west crown in the 2009-2010 season.

Will they advance further than the first or second game? No (be reasonable here people, the entire NFC east is ridiculous). But, it will be a positive step. And for those of you who are shaking your head while reading this, go look for some tape of Patrick Willis. Is that the kind of monster you want to meet in a dark alley?