Football Never Stops

Remember when they played that NBA ad that said, “basketball never stops” right after the potential season ending lockout was resolved? I get your point NBA, but you’re being a little silly. It’s funny because, for a time, basketball did indeed stop. Players couldn’t play. Coaches couldn’t coach. It was Tony Sparano’s darkest nightmare. But basketball has regained its footing as we are well into March. The NBA has very little to compete with in terms of professional sports right now, and March Madness, after the first weekend, slows down considerably and only takes a couple hours of TV time on the weekends. And yet, no one is talking about the NBA (Stephen A. Smith doesn’t count because no one’s listening). What are people talking about? Football. Why? Because football never stops.

No really, think about it. The NFL hasn’t slowed down at all since early February. Because that’s the way they set it up. Football has an outrageously long off-season; they have to keep you interested. They allow a month or so for the obligatory annual “This team did WHAT???” story. Then they unleash free agency on you. Follow that up with the draft in April. And with the unfolding stories after that, they’ve got you into summer now. I’ll admit that things slow down in July before preseason dawns, but they don’t really care. I mean, what else are you gonna watch in July? Midseason baseball?!?!

But just because the NFL has stuff going on, doesn’t mean we are always so interested. This year we are completely enraptured. Because we got things this year that we never ever expected to get.

Firstly, the lovable Saints, who rose out of disaster and became the heartbeat of a downtrodden city, are now mere thugs, getting paid bonuses for getting guys carted off with injuries. Let’s not play Amy Adams in Enchanted here and pretend like we don’t know this kind of activity goes on. But for Tebow’s sake, don’t get caught! There are so many intricacies of the NFL that we choose to ignore. We decide not to think about the corporations behind the players we see on the field. It’s not really that it surprises us that the Saints did this; it’s that it surprises us that they alone fell victim to Roger Goodell’s iron fist. You have to wonder how extensively the Commish is looking into this matter on a league wide scale, or if he just hopes that making an example of Sean Payton (1 year suspension) and Greg Williams (indefinite suspension) will deter other teams. Personally, I don’t think it stops anything. It is a structural issue that extends beyond football. Our culture values money over everything else. For six-figure payouts, who cares about a 15-yard penalty? Who cares if your team loses because you got ejected for concussing a wideout? You have $100,000 in your pocket. Get out of your gear and go meet up with Pacman Jones at a strip club. I do think Goodell’s actions were warranted, but the game breeds violence, you can’t stop that. And you can’t stop the influence of money.

Put that on the backburner for a moment, I’m sure some Saints executive will say something stupid soon enough. But let’s move on to free agency. The only thing that makes this free agency period more exciting is if Peyton Manning signs with Miami and openly mocks LeBron by announcing live on TV that he’s taking his talents to South Beach. But I guess you can’t have everything. But still a riveting sweepstakes, right? It looked like it might be the Dolphins. It looked like it might be the Seahawks. And it definitely looked like it might be the Titans. And at the last second, swashbuckling John Elway swoops in and steals the prize. Quite a performance by Mr. Elway, might I add? He put up with Tim Tebow just enough. It’s no secret that Elway never wanted Tebow as his QB. I imagine it would be hard for an all-time great like him to watch someone completely trivialize his position. And then he threw everything he had at Peyton. And Peyton bit.

You might be thinking, “Blake! He will now playing in the very same division as your beloved Chargers? Why is it that you remain so unfettered?” Firstly, nice use of “unfettered.” Secondly, I don’t really see a problem here. The Chargers have routinely owned Peyton Manning in recent years. We have won three playoffs games this millennium, two of them have been against the Colts. And this is a healthy Peyton Manning we are talking about. Now four neck surgeries in, I will be surprised if he makes it through the year unscathed. And I’m thinking it might be nice, for once, not to be the favorite. It has been a near lock for the past 8 years to pick the Chargers to top the AFC West in the preseason. Give someone else a chance to blow it this time.

As for Timmy Timmy Cocoa Puffs, I am just overjoyed for the youngster. Way to go kid! Good luck in New York. I can’t express to you how happy I am that I won’t have to deal with him in my division anymore. And even if Peyton Manning beats us, oh well, at least it won’t be the patron saint of grounded passes. I just don’t quite understand why it was the Jets, and not the Jags, who landed the holy one. Did you know that, in the end, the Jets and Jaguars offered Tebow almost identical amounts? The Broncos publicly admitted that they would let Tebow decide where to go in such a case where the offers were the same. So if we put two and two together, we can make the assumption that Timmy chose New York, where they already have 14 QBs on roster, none of whom are named Blaine Gabbert. You have to think that Tebow would have been the starter in Jacksonville, who recently had to throw a tarp over a portion of their unpurchased seats to avoid blackout rules (not joking), and basically would’ve gotten anything he asked for from that franchise. You don’t want the team to wear shoulder pads today… Are you sure? Yes, yes of course Tim – I mean SIR! Yes, of course, sir.

Now I don’t mean to say that football is the only sport of significance. I do like the NBA, but we have this lull with about 20 games left where we basically know who 12 of the playoffs teams will be and we are just waiting for the last few. It isn’t very exciting. Especially this year, where seasons were won or lost by the all star break. I have also taken a liking to the NHL (playoff post forthcoming) and you always get that warm fuzzy feeling for MLB opening day, that lasts about 3 hours, until you remember that you are forced to root for the San Diego Padres.

But the National Football League is, and will always be, a force of nature in this country. It is an unstoppable force that is yet to meet its immovable object. Football truly does rule the day, and at night, it never sleeps. We are now 158 days away from the 2012 NFL season, but as always, football never stops.