Anyways, I came through AGAIN on my fantasy guarantee, as I obliterated my opponent by over 60 points. Strong showing from stand-in stud QB Andy Dalton (who may have just earned himself a spot on my bench) as well as Antonio Gates, Michael Bush, and Darren Sproles with 20,19, and 18 points respectively. And after skating through most of my stars' bye weeks unscathed, I come in hot next week with Cam Newton and newly acquired MAURICE JONES-DREW leading the Cradlers in a huge matchup against Eric Peck (the team, not the person... we miss you, Eric Peck the person).
Let's take a look back at my best picking week so far:
Falcons (-7) @ Colts
ATL 31, IND 7 (Win)
We have another Dan Orlovsky sighting folks! The Russian Rifle came in again following a particularly awful showing by Curtis Painter against the Falcons this week. Here's his stat line through 2 appearances: 7/11, 55 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs. Now I don't want Colts fans to get too excited, because I know the stats are mouthwatering, but we could be looking at the next Tom Brady here. Would you believe me if I told you Dan Orlovsky went to Michigan just like Brady? Well you shouldn't because he went to Connecticut. But that's not important. Give Orlovsky a chance to lead this team and you could very well be looking at a strong 1-15 finish.
Buccaneers (+8) @ Saints
NO 27, TB 16 (Loss)
Well I took the points because they Saints have been so inconsistent of late, but maybe the Buccs are just bad. Freeman looks good on paper - 27/37, 281 yards, 1 TD, 0 INT. But there's no fire, no drive, no urgency to win. Tampa was continually stifled after crossing midfield, and put up only 9 points on 3 field goals through the first 54 minutes of the game. Although they did manage to put it in the endzone in the closing minutes, they were unable to come up with a defensive stop until the Saints had driven down the field and kicked a field goal that put the game out of reach. It might be time to vacate the Joshy Woshy Bandwagon. Looks like this division is back in the Saints control.
Browns @ Texans (-11)
HOU 30, CLE 12 (Win)
Well well well, don't look now but here come MY Houston Texans. As far as I'm concerned this division race is over. The Titans are going nowhere fast and the remaining 2 teams in the South may be the worst 2 teams in football. It is a cakewalk for the Texans. Also, I'm glad the Browns suck (they are much worse than their 3-5 record would suggest, they have beaten Indy, Miami, and Seattle by a combined 12 points). You got a little cocky after that ridiculous Madden cover and now you are right back where you belong. Enjoy Colt McCoy.
Jets (+1.5) @ Bills
NYJ 27, BUF 11 (Win)
Gosh that score doesn't really do the Jets justice. The Bills are lucky it didn't get out of hand. It was 27-3 at one point in the 4th quarter and I think it just as easily could have been 34-3 or worse. And the scary thing is that the Jets offense didn't even play that well. The stats are wholly unimpressive for both Sanchez (who turned the ball over twice) and the "Gang Green" rushing attack. But the defense controlled the game from start to finish. And all of a sudden I am more afraid of the Jets than perhaps anyone in the AFC. What is with this conference?
Dolphins (+4) @ Chiefs
MIA 31, KC 3 (Win)
I have to admit that most of the credit for this pick goes to my cousin Noah, who for some reason was so confident in a Dolphins victory that he actually picked them in our suicide pool. I myself was willing to entertain the thought that the Dolphins could lose by 3, but I was shocked by this score. Firstly, the Dolphins have ruined my tanking theory, perhaps realizing that the Colts are unbeatably bad, and seem to have given up on Andrew Luck. Secondly, even though the Chargers kept pace with the Chiefs thanks to this result, it doesn't make the Halloween Massacre any easier to swallow. Makes me feel worse actually. Kudos to Matt Moore, turns out he is more than just a pretty face. I can't remember the last time a Dolphins QB threw 3 TDs, but thankfully we have ESPN around to tell me that it was Chad Pennington in 2008. Good stuff.
49ers (-3.5) @ Redskins
SF 19, WAS 11 (Win)
The Niners can do whatever they want, the division is theirs. You do realize that they already have as many wins as the division winner last year, right? And explain to me how Seattle, Arizona, or St. Louis gets to 7 wins this season? Either the Seahawks and Cardinals would have to go 5-3 from here on out (and the Rams 6-2) just to TIE what the 49ers have right now. It's over. Stick a fork in it. I guess it would be nice if the Niners scored more TDs. I dunno, who cares? Take the next 8 weeks off San Fran, see you in the playoffs.
Seahawks @ Cowboys (-11.5)
DAL 23, SEA 13 (Loss)
Garbage time Marshawn Lynch TD for the cover. Stupid.
Broncos (+8) @ Raiders
DEN 38, OAK 24 (Win)
I will give credit where credit is due. Tim Tebow led his team to victory, there is no debate there. He threw 2 TDs and had 0 turnovers. Solid. He ran for 118 yards on 13 carries. How Vickian of you, Tim. However, he completed only 10 of 21 pass attempts for just 124 yards. Now look, his team won, and the 61 year old Willis McGahee was ripping holes in the Raiders defense so Tebow didn't need to throw a lot, but still. Needs to work out a few kinks with that whole passing thing. But there's potential, I will admit. There's promise.
Bengals (+3.5) @ Titans
CIN 24, TEN 17 (Win)
Who would have thought that it would be the Cincinnati Bengals leading the ENTIRE AFC halfway through the season? Even if you thought the Bengals were going to be good, you would have been ridiculed if you had claimed they would be the best team in the AFC after week 9. Now there are 6-2, and in the NFL, all you can do is win with the schedule you are given.... But they STILL haven't played anyone. They lost by 5 to the 49ers and beat the Bills by 3 and that is it. We knew coming in that they would have to play the Steelers and Ravens 4 times in the last half of the season, but besides that it's really just Houston (who may have the division well in hand by week 14 when they come to Cincy). I'm just saying that Andy Dalton is good, and A.J. Green is good, and the Bengals defense is good. If they can win their home games against Pittsburgh and Baltimore, they have a shot at that division.
Rams (+3.5) @ Cardinals
ARI 19, STL 13 (Loss)
God I hate the NFC West. The Rams had a 42 yard field goal blocked as time expired in regulation, which would have given them a 16-13 victory. The Rams also got the ball to start overtime, but punted after 5 plays. Their punter, who had twice pinned the Cardinals inside the 10, put the ball on the one yard line, but then the Rams special teams happened. Should have been tackled at the 16. Should have been tackled at the 30. Should have been tackled at the 35 (nice effort by punter Donnie Jones, by the way). There was no reason I should have lost with the Rams +3.5. Bradford said later that he felt they had dominated most of the game and it was tough loss to take. Oh is that right? Your offense scored 9 points all game. That thing the Cardinals call a quarterback gave you 4 points on back to back safeties. First team ever to score a total of 4 points in a quarter. And you blow it. Well done Rams.
Giants (+8.5) @ Patriots
NYG 24, NE 20 (Win)
Oh hey Patriots fans... Welcome to the rest of the NFL fanbase. Don't worry, you'll get used to the whole consecutive losses thing. This is by far the worst team Tom Brady has had to play with during his Patriots tenure. The RBs are all hurt (and terrible). The defense as a whole is awful. And they may have the worst starting secondary ever. And when Brady has average games, like he did last week, the Patriots have no chance. For a coaching genius, Belichick has blown A LOT of draft picks in the last decade. They are giving Brady very little to work with. And all of sudden, Eli Manning is an above average QB, who knew?
Packers (-5.5) @ Chargers
GB 45, SD 38 (Win)
Are we surprised at all by this score? I said (in my analysis that blogspot decided to delete) that I thought the Chargers would play up to the Packers and keep it close. My only question was if it would be field goal close or touchdown close. I went with TD and I was proven correct. I didn't feel as bad as you might think after the game. I was very calm (going in assuming that we would probably lose). Apart from the glaring problem that is Philip Rivers throwing pick sixes, I felt the Chargers played a pretty good game. And after those first quarter miscues, Rivers put up 300+ yards and 4 TDs (and 1 INT in desperation time that I do not blame him for). The Packers offense is simply unstoppable. And while they have obvious problems on defense, they just get the job done. Still not worried about the Chargers, there's a 5 game win streak coming up here real soon.
Ravens @ Steelers (-3)
BAL 23, PIT 20 (Loss)
Sigh, I broke the cardinal rule for Steelers-Ravens matchups: You always take the points. Always. I got a little caught up in the Ravens last few games, where they struggled against Jacksonville and Arizona. But they are just too close to give one an advantage. And don't count out the Bengals. It's gonna be a good race for the AFC North.
Bears @ Eagles (-8)
CHI 30, CHI 24 (Loss)
And the Dream Team is back! Every week it's "Will they? Won't they?" They are the like Ross and Rachel of the NFL. And Matt Forte may be the best player in the league who you never here referred to as a candidate for best player in the league. I mean, we know Jay Cutler isn't the one leading that team. The Bears are quietly 5-3, but I don't buy it. I like the Packers and Lions too much to let the Bears into that discussion. You beat Green Bay, then we'll talk.
Weekly Record: 9-5
Overall Record: 21-19-1
I am picking the Chargers (-7) against the Raiders tonight. Like I said 5 game win streak starts here. Also, Carson Palmer on a short week doesn't exactly put the fear of god in me (now watch him throw 4 TDs). Look for the rest of the week 10 picks this weekend.
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