Week 7 already huh? Seems like the season just started... Then again, it has been awhile since I've seen Antonio Gates without a little red Q next to his name on my fantasy bench, but I'm not bitter. It's not like any of my other high draft picks got injured (See: Jamaal Charles). Hey, at the very least, I have derived a sure-fire blueprint on how to start 2-4. Also I'm not Matt Millen. Always thankful for that one.
Anyways, getting down to brass tacks, it's just about that time in the NFL season where teams start to figure each other out. Teams that have been overperforming will fall back to the pack (sorry Buffalo) and likewise teams that have been underperforming will start to put things together (unless you play for Andy Reid, in which case the only thing you'll be putting together is a baker's dozen of donuts). We can usually tell by week 7 or 8 who the truly good teams are, and which ones are coached by Josh McDaniels.
Quick side note: If you google "Josh McDaniels," the first result is his Wikipedia page, the second is "Images of Josh McDaniels," and the third is joshmcdanielssucks.com. Who is the lucky SOB who was able to get his hands on that domain name? Must have bought it the day the Broncos hired him.
But the point is, we should, at this point in the season, be able to separate the wheat from the chaff. I would like to put a heavy emphasis on the word "should" because I'm about to guess the winners of these games and if I get like 11 of them wrong, I can hide behind semantics.
Here we go (Lines courtesy of the Las Vegas Hilton):
Bears @ Buccaneers (+1)
Blake's Pick: Buccs +1
This game is being played in London (because 30,000 people will be dumb enough to confuse "football" with "futbol") but I guess the Buccs are technically the home team. I'm not completely sure why the Bears are getting so much credit. Whoop-di-doo you beat Christian Ponder. Good for you. I am just supposed to forget about the way your offensive line played against Green Bay? I'm just supposed to forget that Jay Cutler is capable of throwing 26 picks in a season if he really puts his mind to it? I can't help but be skeptical of the Bears. And while I am not so hot on Joshy Woshy Twinkle Toes Pudding Pop Bit O' Honey Tootsie Roll Cinnamon Toast Crunch Freeman either, I am much more impressed by their bounce back victory over New Orleans than by anything the Bears have done. Look for the Buccs to squeak out a close one 27-24.
Redskins @ Panthers (-2.5)
Blake's Pick: Panthers -2.5
I mean, let's be real. The Panthers aren't gonna go 1-15. This has to be a win for Cam Newton. They are at home. The Redskins come in after a disastrous game against the Eagles. Rex Grossman has been benched indefinitely in favor of John "Doe" Beck. Seriously, nobody knows who this guy is! Quick! Where did John Beck go to college? If you said BYU and you didn't google it, you deserve a cookie. Go get one from your pantry. He played 5 games (all losses) for the Dolphins in 2007 (in which he managed to turn the ball over 8 times) and did not record another stat until last week... Where has he been for 4 years??? You're telling me this is the best the Redskins could find? A guy who has NEVER won an NFL game? Cam Newton may not be Randall Cunningham... yet. But at least he has a win under his belt. Panthers win this one 30-16.
Chargers @ Jets (+2)
Blake's Pick: Chargers -2
How dare you Rex Ryan? How dare you say that you could have won 2 superbowls with the Chargers? How dare you say that and put it in my mind and make me wish so badly that you were my coach and that I never had to see Norv Turner's stupid face after an inexplicable playoff loss again. Sigh. At least Norval Redenbacher (nickname credit goes to TJ Sriv) had the balls to respond by asking Rex Ryan where his rings that he promised to win with the Jets were. Maybe you can have half a respect point back Norv, but don't make me regret it! I see two foreseeable outcomes here. First, the Chargers get the pressure on Dirty Sanchez and Ryan Mathews runs all over the suddenly porous Jets run defense, SD wins easy 31-10. OR, a jacked up LT runs for 362 yards and 7 TDs as Rex Ryan shakes with evil mirth on the sidelines and celebrates with a bucket of turkey legs. Really hoping its the first one.
Seahawks @ Browns (-3)
Blake's Pick: Seahawks +3
You know what's interesting about this game? Nothing.
Texans @ Titans (-3)
Blake's Pick: Texans +3
Strangely intriguing game here. I am not off the Texans bandwagon, per se. I don't think they are going anywhere without Andre Johnson and Mario Williams, but they might have to win the division by default. Are the Titans any good? Chris Johnson has been uncharacteristically quiet, just one 100 yard game (and that was just 101 yards). Kenny Britt is lost for the season and I bet you can't name two other Titans receivers. Maybe their D is really strong. I don't know how they beat Baltimore. I need to see Schaub step up in this game. Little Arian Foster too. 34-24 Houston.
Broncos @ Dolphins (-1.5)
Blake's Pick: Broncos +1.5
And we're here. Let me lay out the circumstances of this game for you. The Denver Broncos last played 2 weeks ago against my Chargers. The game seemed won when the Bolts took a 26-10 lead into the 4th quarter. But who should rise from the ashes of Kyle Orton? The Golden Child Timothy Richard Tebow. And little Timmy Tebow led the Broncos on a roaring comeback, in true Tebow fashion (meaning he completed only 4 of 10 passes). Now look, Tebow was less than impressive with his arm, let's be honest. His first completion was a short out to Decker for no gain. Then he did not complete another until the screen pass to Moreno that went for a TD. Come on, its a screen pass, not the highest degree of difficulty. His remaining 2 completions were on the game's final drive where the Chargers were in a DEEP prevent defense giving him anything short of 30 yards. However, you cannot deny the energy and drive he brought to that offense. So that's circumstance number 1. Secondly, the Dolphins are just shit. Sorry to be so blunt. And lastly, this Sunday, of all days, Miami is celebrating the Florida Gators 2008 National Championship... led by Tim Tebow. Are you out of your mind Miami??? IT'S TIM TEBOW DAY! You have created a day celebrating nothing but the opposing quarterback, and he is going to come in and crush you. Miami Dolphins 3, Denver Fightin' Tim Tebows 28
Falcons @ Lions (-3)
Blake's Pick: Lions -3
I'm done with the Falcons. I don't think they're any good. Lions are coming in hot after that villainous handshake/back slap thing Jim Harbaugh pulled, and also after giving away that game at home. But mostly about that handshake. How dare he? You know what Gym Shorts? You need to calm down a little bit. Take a step back. You lost. You're fault. Don't go getting upset because he shook your little hand too hard. Don't make excuses. You wanted a fight, because you were pissy, but thank god for you that Harbaugh has some restraint because we all know he would have LAID. YOU. OUT. Anyways, Lions turn it around, win 30-20.
Chiefs @ Raiders (-4)
Blake's Pick: Raiders -4
Too low. 4 points is too low. Look the Raiders are going to be the 6 seed this year, we need to start giving them a little credit. I don't care who is starting at QB (probably Kyle Boller until Carson Palmer gets comfortable) but the Raiders could beat the Chiefs with Rich Gannon at QB, neck brace and all. You really just need to get the ball into McFadden's hands, and honestly Matt Cassel will do the rest for you, Oakland wins 24-7. Quick note on Carson Palmer. Do I think it's a good move? Probably not, but what was Oakland gonna do with all those draft picks anyways? At least he's an arm, but isn't Oakland where all great sports figures go to die? Maybe he'll change things.
Steelers @ Cardinals (+3.5)
Blake's Pick: Steelers -3.5
I hate the Cardinals. Steelers are one of those "good" teams I was talking. Good teams don't lose to Arizona. 24-10.
Rams @ Cowboys (-12)
Blake's Pick: Cowboys -12
So I was a little worried by expecting the Cowboys to be involved in a game decided by more than 4 points, because they just don't do that. But the Rams are the worst team in football. Dead last. 32 of 32. Worse than the Dolphins. Worse than the Colts. If they weren't in the NFC West, I would say they had a pretty solid shot at 0-16, but they'll probably get one against the Cardinals or Seahawks. The point is, if not now Cowboys, when? Dallas 27-13.
Packers @ Vikings (+9)
Blake's Pick: Packers -9
Hmmmm, when do we give Christian Ponder his first NFL start? I know, the Green Bay game! Where we'll have a 0% chance of winning but the home crowd will be going nuts anyways and expect things from him. Solid planning there. Here's what it comes down to. If the Packers want to be 16-0, they will be 16-0. Plain and simple. GB wins 34-14.
Colts @ Saints (-14)
Blake's Pick: Colts +14
Well this game looked a lot better when the Colts weren't awful huh? The Saints aren't going to lose this game but they have one of those defenses that let's teams back in when they have the big lead. Expect a relaxed New Orleans defense to give up a few scores to Curtis Painter when the game is already out of reach. Saints 31-21.
Ravens @ Jaguars (+7.5)
Blake's Pick: Ravens -7.5
And this game NEVER looked good on paper. I don't know who put this game on primetime. This game will only carry fantasy implications, as someone, somewhere, will need a TD from Maurice Jones-Drew. But that is all they will get from the Jags as the frightening Ravens D shows up to ruin the party. Ravens 24-7.
And here are the teams that couldn't be bothered to play this week:
Bills, Bengals, Patriots, Giants, Eagles, 49ers
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